I love me a good love story. Fortunately, me and my homegirls are in a stage in life where I can get some good material.
In July 2014, I wrote a blog entitled Reminders from a Pizza Box. In that post, I shared how a dear friend of mine was sharing with Le Girls in the group chat about a new, exciting chapter in her life and how this event in her life inspired me to remember some key things about how life happens. A couple weeks after that, another member of the group excitedly apprised us of a new beginning for her. It started with a chicken wing.
My disclaimer for this post is the same that I gave with “Reminders…”; this is not my story to tell so the details will not contain the same level of transparency as I would provide with my own narratives. But I’m giving you the best that I’ve got.
I’m not quite sure why both of my homegirls’ stories started with a food item. Perhaps that was the wave for Summer 2014…lol. Anyway, my friend had the group chat buzzing about on this particular afternoon. She was out of town and randomly decided to attend a cook out with a friend. This is the point when the details get a little blurry for me since I’m recalling events nearly six months ago. What I do know is that a selfless act of kindness regarding a chicken wing led to something super special and rather unexpected. #BrownandByrd is a one of a kind match and as I’ve been fortunate enough to watch things grow and transpire, I have a couple of new reminders about life to share.
1. Being you, authentically you, can put you in a position to be able to experience good things. – I think we all have, at one time or another, succumbed to the pressure of trying to be someone we are not. This is particularly true as we get older and we start feeling that we are missing out on a certain things in life. We may look around and see how being, acting, and looking certain ways have allowed others to experience some of the things that are the deepest desires of our hearts. I know – I still struggle with this as I approach 28 this year. But it’s best to do you. I truly believe that what you are meant to have and what you are destined to accomplished are best achieved with a mixture of elements, important among them is a strong sense of self. You never know who is watching you and who would love to be connected to you…because of you.
2. The little things do count. – You can call me a shameless romantic at heart (because I am) but I do believe that love is in the details. There are so many ways this story could have begun, ways that may be considered more grandiose or cooler. But it started with giving away a last chicken wing, something that [apparently] men don’t just do, especially with someone they are just meeting. It was a small gesture that was packed with a huge dose of intentionality and it won’t be forgotten. In life, it is great to remember that in order for there to be a big picture, there first had to be a thousand small steps that came together. Don’t forget about the little things. The right people will notice and appreciate them.
3. Puzzles are made of complementary pieces, not identical pieces. – Before I get into this point, I have no intention of inferring that people are not whole until they meet someone. That is not what I mean so please don’t take it that way. Now that I’ve said that…when I first met the second half of #BrownandByrd, I remember thinking “very nice but not what I expected.” This is no shade in any way; I just envisioned someone different from what I knew about my friend. But the more I saw them interact over time and the more she gushed in the group chat about him and the value he was constantly adding to her life, it occurred to me that there are many things in life that work that way. It’s comfortable being around people who are like you and who fit the description of what you “want” but more times than not, the best of the best stories come from people who complement each other, who share enough in common to live harmoniously but who differ enough that they will always be able to add value to the other person and contribute consistently to the other’s knowledge, sensibilities, and weakened areas. It comes together and it works. I think it’s also worth noting that there are some situations that show you things that you never thought to want or desire or that you never knew you needed. It’s OK to go with it; sometimes the road leads to some delightful destinations.
4. When your past sends you an invitation back to its misery, do not politely decline – SHUT IT DOWN. – When good things begin to happen in life, you will encounter some roadblocks and even some blasts from the past who will try to disrupt the greatness of current happenings. Do not go back, do not pass go, do not collect $200. You will be an emotional pillar of salt. Shut it down with urgency. Make the decision to fight for your future; if the past was worth fighting for it would be your present.
5. YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR. – If you find someone who sees your worth even in all of your brokenness, *in my church voice* stay right there. Know for yourself that you are worth fighting for and if you are fortunate to find yourself surrounded by people who know and treat you the same way, keep them close.
The story started with a wing, has been sustained by prayer, and has unlimited possibilities. DASSIT. Let’s keep the stories coming.